Is this disease making you sick?

I have always dreaded writing this post. You will get to know why in a lil while. Yes Im sick, like literally. I

have read so many blogs of sick people, patients...so called diaries of 'patients'. The disease varies, but the nature of the blog remains the same. Its the same undercurrent of pain, misery, also courage...that defines these pieces of writing. I will not say whats ailing me, but whatever it is, its damn serious. Its something I have been battling with for the last three years. Before that, I was a person with normal life. Friends, parties, an amazing job, holidaying, love life...you name it, I had it all. This is what makes it even more intolerable, the fact that I can never have all that ever again. Todays post is going to be about what I really miss, the pain that I am going through. Maybe, I will write about the 'being strong' and 'courageous' part some other time! Today is just not that day. So as I was saying, life can be so bloody unpredictable, how do you prepare for something so drastic, something so out of your control. There is no other way than to just gather your spirits somehow and keep moving forward. Of course, I am not alone. I have an amazing family who are by my side, rooting for me, helping me stay strong and coping with the disaster that my life seems to be all about. Sometimes the longing to be normal again is so bad that its like an unbearable physical ache. The helplessness is just too much to handle. I don't know what keeps me going in such times, when all I want to do is end it all. Is there any hope at all? Why do I keep hoping for a miracle. There are stories on the internet about miraculous healings, and when I read those, every core of my being wants to believe in it, hope it happens for me too! Heres one
STORY that is at the top of my miracle list. Why cant God help us all? Theres something about pain that connects all those who are going through some sickness or the other. Like I said earlier, the disease could be different, but the underlying misery is the same. We all know what it feels like to be on the other side. It suddenly feels as if the world has been divided into two halves, one is for the disease-free and the other for the diseased. Its as if wherever you go (be it a regular hospital visit, some gathering, public place, public transportation), people are either staring at you, or trying to not to stare, which too is so obvious. Its like life is in a limbo. You are neither fully normal, nor abnormal. You know that your mind, your spirit is still the same. You wanna sing, dance, climb mountains, stroll on beaches, party hard....and in your mind you are doing all of that. But in reality, you body just wont allow you to do it. You are either bedridden, or in a wheelchair or just too weak to do any of this. Its like being a prisoner in your own body. I would say, there should be no intermediary stage/s to disease. It should either get cured or just take a persons life quickly and quietly. That would save a lot of misery for the sick one, as well their loved ones. I know thats a morbid thought to end this post but I am sure, a person in my shoes would understand. Like I said earlier, today is just not the day to be courageous.

Life After Death & the Paranormal

Yes I know this is something the entire world debates about. But I am not here to prove anything. As far as

believing or not believing is concerned, I'd say I do believe in the afterworld, the paranormal, the world beyond, life after death. I have no personal experience to back up my belief but somehow I do. I think we don't actually die when we die. As they say, we just pass over to another dimension. Whether or not there are any bright lights, that we will come to know only when we die. So, until then, its just through your own freak experiences, other people's stories, etc. that we get to form an opinion on this subject. What appeals to me most is the idea of 'not actually dying'..you just start to exist in a different plane. Yes, maybe not in the physical body form that you have on earth, but maybe in an astral form. Like I've heard from other people who have miraculous stories to share, there seems to be no sense of time in the 'other' world. There's no past, present or future. It is all happening at once, just a single dimensional sense of time. You are supposedly present in so many places at once. Now, that would be something! How fascinating the thought of life even after death is! There's so much that the human mind still has no idea of. There's so much that we just cant explain. For example, something as simple as a premonition. How do you explain that? There are so many people who simply get an intuition, a feeling, or even dream about something that they could not have known about at all. And yes, this is something that even I have felt a few times. Something which happened in the future, and I had no way of knowing anything about it, but out of nowhere I get this dream where I kind of 'foresee' what was to happen...and happen it did!! I am sure so many of us have had amazing out of the world(pun intended) experiences. Lets share some of these if you are comfortable doing so. Its going to be interesting I am sure :)